Bex Cockayne

The Inner Authoritarian & The Over Thinker

Apr 8, 2026

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6 min read

The Inner Authoritarian & The Over Thinker

Two different parts. Colluding together. Keeping you stuck. Here's what you can do about it.

Bex Cockayne

behavioural change

Apr 3, 2026

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7 min read

When we use others to change

Sometimes we need others to tell us what to do, or we want the fear of what they will think to drive us to change. All humans, to a greater or lesser extent, use this. So when is it ok and when is it not so helpful? Is there any other way to change?

Bex Cockayne

Mar 26, 2026

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7 min read

Rejection Sensitivity

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria isn’t just an ADHD trait. It’s a nervous system pattern shaped by experience and perception. The feeling is real, but the story your brain tells you in that moment is often not. Learning to recognise and regulate the response changes how you show up at work, in relationships, and with yourself

Bex Cockayne

Mar 20, 2026

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5 min read

Is it avoidance or is it rest?

Today I explore how avoidance, even when it feels like rest, is actually a coping strategy that keeps the nervous system activated and prevents true restoration. It looks at why stepping away from discomfort can feel like relief but often leaves us drained, disconnected, and stuck in patterns that limit growth. The focus is on understanding these behaviours in ourselves and learning how to respond differently, so rest can be genuine.

Bex Cockayne

Mar 10, 2026

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5 min read

How long does therapy take?

In some ways this is as long as a piece of string but if you want genuine change and growth, rather than a sticking plaster it might take longer than you think.

Bex Cockayne

Mar 6, 2026

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7 min read

This can help anxiety

EMDR can help with anxiety when your body is reacting like the past is happening again, even if your mind knows you’re safe. It works by helping the brain properly process and “file away” stuck experiences so today stops triggering the same old alarm.

Bex Cockayne

Feb 27, 2026

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6 min read

Do you need therapy?

I'm a huge advocate of therapy. Obviously! I love it and have seen the transformational impact it can have on people's lives. But it's not the only way growth and healing can occur and sometimes it's necessary but not sufficient to have true change. So, if you find yourself asking - should I go to therapy, here's what you might want to think about.

Bex Cockayne

Feb 20, 2026

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5 min read

Is it the relationship that's broken or the hidden arrangement keeping it together?

Conflict doesn’t always respond to “better communication”. It shows up when fairness is off, when one person is doing the invisible management of life, and when equality is experienced as criticism. If you’ve been feeling exhausted, resentful, or oddly lonely inside a partnership, this is an attempt to put words on what’s happening without turning it into blame.

Bex Cockayne

Feb 7, 2026

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6 min read

Is your relationship off due to communication skills or is it something else?

I see a lot of talk on social media abut communication skills, attachment styles and loads of other stuff linked to what’s “wrong” with someone’s relationship. However, in my experience, particularly when it comes to heterosexual relationships, a lot of discontent comes from the unequal distribution of emotional and social labour. Here’s what this means and some new ways to explore this in your relationship.

Bex Cockayne

Jan 27, 2026

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9 min read

Bargaining with change...& avoidance

I know form personal experience how easy it is to outsource the change and growth we know on some level we need to do...but does it help? And when you avoid something, what is it you're really avoiding?

Bex Cockayne

Jan 22, 2026

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6 min read

Happiness isn’t the point

In this week's newsletter, I talk about the five ideas I come back to when I feel lost. Catch up on session updates, communication hacks and learn a bit more about emotional intelligence & connection each week.

Bex Cockayne

Jan 14, 2026

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6 min read