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The best HR advice comes from people who’ve been in the trenches.
That’s what this newsletter delivers.
I Hate it Here is your insider’s guide to surviving and thriving in HR, from someone who’s been there. It’s not about theory or buzzwords — it’s about practical, real-world advice for navigating everything from tricky managers to messy policies.
Every newsletter is written by Hebba Youssef — a Chief People Officer who’s seen it all and is here to share what actually works (and what doesn’t). We’re talking real talk, real strategies, and real support — all with a side of humor to keep you sane.
Because HR shouldn’t feel like a thankless job. And you shouldn’t feel alone in it.
Hi I’m Bex - a therapist and coach who loves helping others build their emotional, social and relational intelligence.
I write a weekly newsletter all about emotional well-being.
If there’s stuff you want me to cover or talk about, please do get in touch by emailing me at [email protected]
You can subscribe below! Or forward to someone you know who might need some help.
Want to work through emotions, understand yourself better, build confidence or deepen relationships?
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Psychoeducation Tips
When is good to use accountability to change?
There is a type of client who gets things done when something is on the line.
A deadline. Money committed. Someone they respect waiting for an update. I’ve personally used this as a technique to get me into a routine.
Without that, things slow down because nothing feels urgent enough to cut through the friction of starting.
If that sounds familiar, it is worth asking a simple question.
Do humans only change behaviour when there is pressure?
Most people assume this is a discipline issue. And to some extent it might be but it also might be that your brain (for multiple reasons) is solely responding to urgency.
We are far more responsive to immediate consequences than distant rewards. As such, the long term benefit of change rarely competes with the short term discomfort of effort, uncertainty, or possible failure. So we wait. We delay. We avoid. Until something makes it feel real.
This is why accountability can work.
It creates immediacy. It shortens the gap between action and consequence. Suddenly, it is not just “this would be good for me.” It becomes “I need to do this because someone will ask.”
And for many people (but not everyone), this can unlock action.
But there is another question that matters as much:
What happens when the pressure is removed?
Do you keep going?
Or do you find yourself slipping back into the same patterns, needing another deadline, another external push, another reason to act?
This is where accountability can break down because if the only reason you act is external, then your consistency depends on something outside of you. It works, but it keeps you reliant.
The research on motivation is clear on this point. People are more likely to sustain behaviour when it becomes internal. When actions feel chosen, meaningful, and aligned with who they are, rather than driven by fear of consequences or avoiding guilt.
So the real shift is not from no accountability to accountability.
It is from external pressure to internal ownership.
At the start, structure helps. Deadlines help. External accountability helps you move when you are stuck but great coaching does not stop (or necessarily even start) here.
Rather, true change, working with someone will: help you build something more sustainable, help you understand why you avoid certain actions, increase your tolerance for discomfort, and connect your goals to something that actually matters to you. It will help you create evidence that you can rely on yourself, not just when someone is watching, but when no one is.
If you want to be someone who follows through because it is part of how they operate, not because they are being pushed. Or if you recognise yourself in this and want to do something about it, you might want to book in for an intro call.
Until next time,
Bex
The best HR advice comes from those in the trenches. That’s what this is: real-world HR insights delivered in a newsletter from Hebba Youssef, a Chief People Officer who’s been there. Practical, real strategies with a dash of humor. Because HR shouldn’t be thankless—and you shouldn’t be alone in it.