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We often imagine growth as a good thing. But for growth to happen we need to be open to experiencing something different or new.

But for some nervous systems “new” doesn’t automatically mean “good.” In fact, new experiences can feel like threats, especially if we’ve been in similar situations which hurt us. Once bitten, twice shy as they say.

And of course, our body’s job is survival, not innovation. It learns patterns fast. If it feels dangerous, avoid it. This can do a great job of keeping us safe, but it can mean we flinch away from connection, pleasure, or opportunity, not because we don’t want them, but because our system still things anything apart from absolute certainty is unsafe.

This is often where self-sabotage comes from. This is one of the main ways we get in our own way.

So how come it happens?

After a difficult experiences, our internal alarm system becomes overprotective. It scans for danger and often finds it in anything unfamiliar.

So we shut down new experiences before they begin even if they’re completely harmless or maybe even good for us. We rationalise, retreat, or distract.

Not out of weakness, but out of an old logic: Better the discomfort I know than the danger I don’t.

Healing starts when we stop arguing with that logic and start retraining it. Each small, safe new experience sends updated data to the brain and body: See? This time was different.

It might look like…

The body can then slowly updates its map. “New” stops meaning “threat” and starts meaning “possible.”

If part of you still braces, that’s not failure that’s your body doing its best to protect you with outdated information. The key isn’t to bulldoze fear, but to stay present long enough for your system to notice: This moment isn’t the past. It’s about allowing it just a bit of space for an alternative way of relating to be possible.

Next time you catch yourself rejecting something new, pause. Or automatically assuming the worse or getting stuck in a pattern or self-sabotage or giving up and feeling hopeless try spotting it and then asking:

What am I afraid might happen again?

Is this genuinely dangerous or is this just new?

Slow down…as best you can, while staying curious. Perhaps different or unexpected or new isn’t as scary or as much as a threat as your might automatically conclude.

Every time we allow something new and kind to reach us, we’re teaching our nervous system: This time, it’s safe. We’re ok.

I offer complimentary 15-20 minute calls where we can explore your situation and how working together might help.

Or perhaps you might know someone who could benefit from reading this email or booking in for a call.

👉 Schedule Now

Bex

https://delphicoaching.wixsite.com/delphitherapy

www.wearedelphi.co

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Forward them this email and see if they’d like to book in for a complimentary intro call?

Keep showing up, keep connecting, learning and discovering! cheering each yourself and those around you on 💛

Bex @ We Are Delphi

P.S.

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