Before I consider buying or investing in anything I read reviews. I prefer hearing from real people.

“I’m probably just overthinking it or reading too much into it”

It’s one of the most common phrases I hear and one of the ones I think is most misunderstood.

People begin describing something that’s been bothering them. Something small which they notice: a shift in someone’s tone, a strange dynamic at work or a feeling they can’t quite shake in a relationship.

This can trigger anxiety, cue rumination, avoidance and a desire to run away.

This is often followed by:

“I know I’m overthinking.”
“It’s all in my head.”
“I’m making it up.”

Conversation over. Case closed.

Except it isn’t. The anxiety remains.

When someone says “I’m making it up,” it rarely comes from clarity.

It comes from a loss of trust in their own perception.

There’s usually already been a build-up:

By the time they say “I’m making it up,” they’re not evaluating the situation anymore they’re questioning themselves.

So instead of asking: “What’s happening here?” they’re asking: “Can I trust myself to read this properly?”

Once that doubt creeps in, most people don’t investigate further. They shut it down.

This doesn’t come out of nowhere. Most people have learned, somewhere along the line, that it’s safer to question themselves than to question what’s happening around them.

You might recognise some of this:

So over time, you internalise a rule:

“Don’t trust your first read it’s probably wrong.”

That rule can look like emotional maturity on the outside. But internally, it creates confusion because now every instinct gets filtered through doubt.

“Overthinking” has become a catch-all explanation. It sounds neat, but it’s often too blunt to be useful so here’s a bit of an overview of where overthinking is happening in the above scenario and where it is.

You’re noticing repeated behaviours, inconsistencies, or subtle cues. The issue is that you don’t yet have a clear narrative for what you’re seeing so it feels messy or uncertain.

Your reaction might be stronger than the situation objectively calls for. This can happen when something touches on past experiences, insecurities, or stress but the trigger itself is still worth understanding because nearly every time someone IS picking up on something objectively happening.

When what we notice causes a lot of anxiety when the ruminate. We loop the same thought without new information or resolution. This is “overthinking”. This is the part that is unhelpful but it’s often a downstream effect of not having totally processed the situation in the first place.

When someone says “I’m overthinking,” they’re usually collapsing all three into one and dismissing the whole lot.

It’s true that when you’re anxious, your system becomes more alert.

You scan for changes. You pick up on tone, expression, pauses. You might read into things more quickly.

That’s what people often label as “hyper-vigilance.” but here’s the nuance that often gets missed:

Sensitivity increases detection BUT it doesn’t automatically create false positives.

In other words, being more aware doesn’t mean you’re imagining things.

It means:

What matters then is how that data gets interpreted.

On your own, you’re both the observer and the critic of your experience - and self-dismissal in this way can be really hard wired (in all likelihood we’ve done it for a long time).

So as soon as you start exploring something, another part of you jumps in to shut it down:

That internal back-and-forth creates gridlock.

You don’t get clarity you get stuck between two competing narratives so nothing actually gets resolved.

When you have space to actually talk this through without cutting yourself off a few important things start to happen:

You separate observation from interpretation. Instead of “something feels off,” you can pinpoint what specifically you’ve noticed.

You test your assumptions, you find the pattern and learn to regulate the emotional intensity which makes your thinking clearer, not more distorted.

You rebuild trust in your own judgement because you’ve learnt to work things through.

The goal isn’t to stop “overthinking” but it might be to move from:

If you recognise that reflex the quick move to dismiss your own experience, it’s worth taking seriously. As repeatedly shutting it down can lead to:

If you want to get clearer on something that’s been looping in your mind, whether it’s a relationship, work dynamic, or a shift in how you’re feeling, this is exactly the kind of thing therapy or coaching is useful for.

You can book a session with me or get in touch to find out more

👉 Schedule Now

Until next time,

Bex

https://delphicoaching.wixsite.com/delphitherapy

www.wearedelphi.co