Before I consider buying or investing in anything I read reviews. I prefer hearing from real people.

If you’ve ever told yourself “I just need to stop overthinking” and found that thought spiral getting louder instead of quieter there’s usually something deeper going on.

Overthinking rarely exists on its own. More often, it’s being driven by another side of you.

You see what we call “overthinking” is often a form of rumination or rather a repetitive, looping thoughts focused on mistakes, decisions, or perceived shortcomings.

And one of the strongest predictors of this kind of thinking according to research?

Self-criticism.

In other words: the inner authoritarian.

Research consistently shows that people who are more self-critical are more likely to get stuck in rumination loops. When there’s a harsh internal voice constantly evaluating, correcting, and warning, the mind tries to keep up.

It thinks more = safer. More analysis = fewer mistakes. More control = less shame. And yet, it usually only leaves us doubting ourselves, feeling more uncertain and not really shifting our situation.

I like to think of the over thinking part of ourselves as being driven by a inner authoritarian or inner dictator. It has a harsh voice, talks down to us and thinks that if it points out the bad often enough it will force us to change. This is (in my own experience) rooted in shame and very rarely works. It’s also one of the most common things I work with in session.

Studies have found that when people feel shame about themselves (not just guilt about a behaviour), they’re more likely to engage in repetitive negative thinking. The mind keeps going over the same ground, trying to “solve” something that isn’t actually solvable through thinking alone: “What’s wrong with me?”

So you get stuck in loops like:

Not because you’re bad at decisions but because a part of you believes mistakes aren’t safe and is trying to use fear to get you to change.

When you put this together, a pattern emerges:

This is why overthinking feels relentless.

You’re not just thinking.

You’re trying to preempt criticism from yourself.

Most advice focuses on managing the thinking: distract yourself, challenge thoughts, take action and sometimes that helps.

But if the driver, the inner authoritarian, stays intact, the system keeps recreating the problem because the overthinking isn’t the issue.

Rather, it’s the strategy being used to by the inner authoritarian than needs to change. This can feel very difficult, because often those inner authoritarians are internalised voices from harsh childhood authority figures.

What actually creates change is shifting your relationship with the part of you that’s demanding certainty and perfection.

That means:

Research on self-criticism and rumination also points to this direction: when people develop more self-compassion and reduce harsh self-judgement, rumination decreases.

Less internal threat = less need to overthink.

If you recognise yourself in this,constantly thinking, analysing, second-guessing, it might not be a thinking problem at all.

It might be the way you’ve learned to relate to yourself.

This is the work I do with clients: helping you understand the parts of you that drive these patterns, where they come from, and how to create change that doesn’t rely on pressure or shame.

If you’re ready to get out of your head not by forcing it, but by understanding what’s keeping you there, you can book in for an intro call to explore how we could work together in session.

👉 Schedule Now

Until next time,

Bex

https://delphicoaching.wixsite.com/delphitherapy

www.wearedelphi.co