Before I consider buying or investing in anything I read reviews. I prefer hearing from real people.

Let’s be honest most of us were never taught how to feel.

We were taught how to think, plan, and produce. We learned to rationalise, minimise, and “keep it together.” School is about reward, performance and getting it “right’ - good grades get you through. Back in the 90’s even lessons designed to facilitate creativity were “marked” and judged.

And if you also grew up in a family where emotions weren’t acknowledge or talked about or where they totally ran a-mock, you may have absorbed the message that emotions aren’t safe. Perhaps they’re dangerous, or something to be ashamed of or unprofessional, inconvenient, or a sign of weakness. The list goes on.

Emotions are normal, natural, healthy, human, and also data. They offer us information about what matters, what’s missing, and what’s next. Just like physically feeling thirsty or hungry or tired, they’re physical sensations. These sensations are tied to a belief or thought about ourselves, the world or others.

Emotions, therefore, aren’t the problem but avoidance or complete identification with an emotion is.

The Impact of suppressing or over-identifying with an emotion

When we suppress an emotion, we lose access to the very intelligence that helps us lead, connect, and create.

Suppression is avoidance or rather pushing emotions out of awareness - they then reappear as stress, irritability, or burnout. Or cynicism, passive communication, loneliness, fatigue. It narrows thinking, drains focus, and quietly erodes trust.

In short, if we judge our emotions and dismiss them, we stopping knowing ourselves, this can lead to a loss of confidence.

Equally, if we find ourselves totally subsumed by an emotion or lashing out or responding from an emotional place we can end-up hurting ourselves & others. This also can leave us isolated, exhausted and feeling ashamed.

If we’re struggling, I often find, it’s because we’re either over identifying with a specific feeling or trying to run away from it. This can impact out confidence.

Why Confidence Begins With Emotional Literacy

Confidence isn’t about always knowing what to do it’s about trusting yourself to navigate what you feel and what you’re experiencing in certain situations.

Think about it: the moments that shake your confidence rarely come from a lack of skill. They come from emotional overload or a fear of that happening: fear of failure, anxiety about perception, frustration at not being understood. Confidence is emotional competence in disguise.

When you can recognise, name, and regulate what’s happening inside, you stop outsourcing your stability to external validation. You become someone who can hold tension, stay curious, and keep moving even when things feel uncertain.

That’s what I call real confidence.

Of course we have to practice feeling and working with emotion…especially if we weren’t taught this growing-up.

Tara Stewart’s RAIN method is a great start and is the subject of next week’s newsletter (or have a google if you can’t wait until then!).

Let’s Talk About It

If you know you have a tendency to feel everything or run away from emotions, or if you’ve been ruminating lots but nothing seems to be shifting then you might want to book in for an intro call to explore what you can do differently.

👉 Schedule Now

Or perhaps you might know someone who could benefit from reading this email or booking in for a call - if so forward it to them, you never know how much it could help!

Until next time,

Bex

https://delphicoaching.wixsite.com/delphitherapy

www.wearedelphi.co

Have a friend, partner, colleague, family member that is looking for some support but isn’t quite sure where to turn?

Forward them this email and see if they’d like to book in for a complimentary intro call?

Keep showing up, keep connecting, learning and discovering! cheering each yourself and those around you on 💛

Bex @ We Are Delphi

P.S.

New here? Book in for a complimentary Intro Call and receive a complimentary personal development plan.