Hi I’m Bex - a therapist and coach who loves helping others build their emotional, social and relational intelligence.

I write a weekly newsletter all about emotional well-being.

If there’s stuff you want me to cover or talk about, please do get in touch by emailing me at [email protected]

You can subscribe below! Or forward to someone you know who might need some help.

Want to work through emotions, /understand yourself better, build confidence or deepen relationships?

Clients said:

Before I consider buying or investing in anything I read reviews. I prefer hearing from real people.

Psychoeducation Tips

EMDR and anxiety: when your body is stuck in “then”, even though it’s “now”

If you live with anxiety, you’ve probably had this experience: you can understand that you’re safe, but your body does not get the memo.

Your mind does the sensible things. It looks at the facts. It tries to reassure you. It builds the spreadsheets. It reads the articles. It talks you down.

And still your chest tightens. Your sleep goes weird. Your brain starts scanning the future like it’s a threat assessment exercise. You feel on edge, even when nothing is actually happening.

This is often the moment people realise anxiety is not only a thinking problem. It’s also a nervous system problem.

Why anxiety can be “irrational” and still make complete sense

A lot of anxiety is an alarm system doing what it was designed to do: detect danger early, and keep you alive.

The problem is that alarms learn.

If your system has learned that certain situations are unsafe, even subtly, it can start reacting in the present as if an old experience is repeating. You might not consciously “remember” anything dramatic. You just get a surge of fear, urgency, dread, or shame, and your body behaves like something bad is about to happen.

That is one of the reasons EMDR can be helpful for anxiety.

EMDR is best known as a trauma therapy and is recommended in UK guidance for PTSD. (NICE)


But there is also growing research interest in EMDR for anxiety disorders and anxiety symptoms, with meta-analytic evidence suggesting it can reduce anxiety, panic, and phobia symptoms, while also being clear that more research is needed on longer-term effects and which anxiety presentations benefit most. (PubMed)

So what exactly is EMDR?

Think of the brain like a filing system.

Most experiences get processed, filed away, and become “the past”. They might still be sad, or annoying, or meaningful, but they are not actively triggering your body like an emergency.

Some experiences do not file properly. They stay “live”. They sit closer to the surface, and when something in the present resembles them, your system reacts as if it is happening again.

EMDR helps the brain process and re-file those “live” experiences, so the present stops feeling contaminated by the past.

The eye movements (or other forms of bilateral stimulation like taps or sounds) are part of the process, but the bigger point is this: EMDR is structured, paced, and designed to help your brain digest what it could not digest at the time.

What EMDR for anxiety

People often assume EMDR is only for “big trauma”. In practice, anxiety can be driven by:

  • a history of being criticised or shamed and now feeling constantly evaluated

  • earlier experiences of unpredictability, where your system learned to stay on alert

  • a specific fear memory (panic, public speaking, driving, flying, medical stuff)

  • relational injuries that taught you it is not safe to need, ask, or take up space

  • repeated micro-stressors that built a strong association between “this situation” and “I’m not safe”

This is one reason EMDR can be relevant for social anxiety, panic symptoms, and phobias, and sometimes for the “always on” background worry of generalised anxiety, depending on the person. (PubMed)

Who EMDR is a good fit for

EMDR can be a good fit if your anxiety has a strong “triggered” quality, like your body flips into threat very quickly, or you can see repeating themes you cannot talk your way out of.

It may not be the first step if you are currently in ongoing chaos, actively unsafe, severely sleep-deprived, or you do not yet have enough stability to stay present. In those cases, therapy often starts with resourcing, boundaries, and nervous system work first, then EMDR later.

This is also why I’m careful about overpromising. The aim is not to “delete” your anxiety. The aim is to reduce the false alarms, so your system stops reacting like your life is under threat when it isn’t.

If you’re curious

If you want to explore whether EMDR is appropriate for your anxiety, I offer a short intro call where we look at what your anxiety does, what tends to trigger it, what you have tried already, and whether EMDR makes sense now or later.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This is me, I can explain it but I can’t shift it,” you’re not broken. You might just be working with the wrong layer of the problem.

Bex

If you feel at risk of harm or in crisis, contact your GP, call NHS 111, or call 999 in an emergency. You can also contact Samaritans (UK & ROI) on 116 123.

Get involved

Know someone that could benefit from our help?

Have a friend, partner, colleague, family member that is looking for some support but isn’t quite sure where to turn?

Forward them this email and see if they’d like to book in for a complimentary intro call?

That’s it for this week.

Keep showing up, keep connecting, learning and discovering! cheering each yourself and those around you on 💛

Bex @ We Are Delphi

P.S.

New here? Book in for a complimentary Intro Call and receive a complimentary personal development plan.

Keep Reading