Hi I’m Bex - a therapist and coach who loves helping others build their emotional, social and relational intelligence.
I write a weekly newsletter all about emotional well-being.
If there’s stuff you want me to cover or talk about, please do get in touch by emailing me at [email protected]
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Christmas & the Ghosts of Festivities Past
It’s that time of year again. Christmas is different for everyone. It can be twinkly lights, cosiness, the Pogues on repeat and hopefully some festive cheer.
But…if you’re reading this and Christmas conjures up feelings of stress, that’s ok too.
For most people, it conjures up both.
Christmas can be full of ghosts of people, patterns, and parts of ourselves we’d rather leave in the past.
Even those who love the season, the festivities, the food, the connection can feel an emotional shift under it all. A quiet sense of obligation. A worry about family conflict over the Turkey. The strange dissonance of being back in an old family role that no longer fits.
“If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”
– Ram Dass
Whether you love Christmas or find it quietly stressful (or both in the same afternoon), this time of year has a way of stirring things up.
Why December feels so intense
It’s not just the logistics. It’s not just the cold weather or the relentless mince pies. It’s that this season compresses time.
Old memories resurface and our systems can feel flooded with both joy and unresolved stuff.
Clients often tell me:
“I just feel weirdly emotional.”
“I love my family, but I get so irritable.”
“It’s not bad… but I’m definitely not feeling festive”
This doesn’t mean you’re broken or are doing Christmas badly, but whatever you’re feeling it can be a great compass to what might be no longer serving you. And if you’re willing to listen, even gently, this season can also be a time of growth.
A moment to ask: what’s ready to shift?
December can offer lots of opportunity to notice:
What roles or stories do I keep falling into?
Where do I feel most drained, performative or anxious?
What do I keep managing, rather than healing or releasing?
What do I want to carry with me into the new year and what needs to stay behind?
Your nervous system is full of information. If something feels “too much” this month, it’s worth getting curious.
How EMDR helps with the deeper stuff
For the patterns that go deeper; the anxiety, the freeze response, the shutdown after conflict, the part of you that still flinches emotionally when certain things are said, we may need more than insight.
That’s where EMDR comes in something which I’ve found beneficially personally and also with clients.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a powerful approach for:
Unhooking from old emotional patterns
Reprocessing past experiences so they lose their emotional sting
Reclaiming calm, confidence and choice
It works especially well for:
Anxiety and overthinking
Perfectionism and people-pleasing
Stress that lives in the body
Developmental or relational trauma (even subtle, long-standing stuff)
Unlike traditional talking therapy, EMDR helps your brain process & integrate what never got processed at the time. It moves experiences from “this is still happening” to “this is something I can remember without reliving it.”
EMDR is approved by WHO and NICE guidelines as a gold standard treatment for PTSD and trauma, and it’s increasingly used for anxiety, burnout, performance issues, and complex stress. (Shapiro, 2017; NICE, 2018)
Want to explore this together?
If you’re feeling the weight of old patterns this month or just want 2026 to feel different, lighter, more aligned I offer a space that blends depth with practicality.
Together, we’ll explore what’s happening emotionally, where it’s come from, and what actually needs to shift. That might include:
EMDR
IFS (Internal Family Systems / parts work)
Talking therapy
Coaching-style reflection + tools for change
I work especially well with people who:
Are outwardly competent but internally overwhelmed
Have “done the work” but still feel stuck
Want change that goes beyond just “coping better”
Want to feel more confident & connected
Whatever this season brings; joy, grief, conflict, confusion, connection, deep rest or feelings of chaos it’s all information and it’s ok to feel it. You’re human too.
If you’re like to explore what therapy or coaching might offer you then book in for a complimentary 20-30 minute intro call:
With Gratitude,
Bex
Get involved
Know someone that could benefit from our help?
Have a friend, partner, colleague, family member that is looking for some support but isn’t quite sure where to turn?
Forward them this email and see if they’d like to book in for a complimentary intro call?
That’s it for this week.
Keep showing up, keep connecting, learning and discovering! cheering each yourself and those around you on 💛
Bex @ We Are Delphi
P.S.
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